You May Not Finish this Blog post.....part 2

That next day, Sunday morning, was a good day. My house doctor, came in to check on me, and said that I was looking good. He said that he needed to confirm with the neurologist, but as he looked at the new CT, there was no abscess in the brain. And that it was not a fungal infection, but rather a staph infection and all should be treatable with antibiotics.

I can’t tell you how excited I was and relieved I was to hear those words. Realizing that if I had waited any longer I could have slipped into coma, and things progressed even worse from there, the thought was so overwhelming.

Monday morning, the doctor’s came in and began the process to discharge me, and that night I found myself in my own bed, resting with a new look on life, with a new since of urgency, and a new since of what is really important.

Never before have I had anything crazy like this happen, Violet through out this entire ordeal was such a stronghold for me, being so positive, and reminding me that God has so much more for me to do.

Through this entire situation as I reflect on it, I never questioned my faith, I never became angry with God, but I found myself scared. I always thought that when that time came, I’d have a peace that surpasses everything, but truth is, I was scared. And then I thought of my family, and how I hadn’t prepared to leave them in a good position if I where to pass. I always said I have time to this or to do that, but truth is, I don’t, and you don’t. We are never promised time, we are never promised that will live to grow old with our spouse, or to see our children grow up and experience life, get married and have their own children. We are not guaranteed anything, except that will someday all pass away.

A few days before this entire situation raised it’s crazy head, I was reading, “Crazy Love”, by Francis Chan. And the chapter that I was reading was called, “you may not finish this chapter”, a relatively strange title of a chapter I thought, but as I read it, I was challenged, but still not ready for what would be ahead of me.

In the chapter Francis quotes Fredrick Buechner saying, “Intellectually we all know we are going to die, but we really do not know it in the sense that the knowledge becomes a part of us. We do not really know it in the sense of living as through it were true. On the contrary, we tend to live as through our lives will go on forever.”

That is exactly how I now feel. I can truly say that after this experience, I have been forced to examine my life in a way I have never had to before. A real reality check. I do know that some day I will die, when that is I do not know. But this I do know, the Lord has brought me through this situation, and continues to as I am currently still recovering, but the knowledge that I will someday die is now more real than ever, and that had forced me to live as if it were true, which in turn has moved me to a place in my faith that I have never been before, and I’m so excited to see where God takes us on our journey with Him. Things that He asked us to do before now don’t seem so scary.

I do know this, I want to live my life adoring my wife, loving my children, and knowing that whatever God has asked me to do, I did, and fear didn’t keep me from obeying Him. That to me is a life of no regrets, that’s having a sense of urgency, and that’s living knowing my time is short no matter where I’m at on my journey with Christ.

Please continue to pray for my healing. I have an IV in my arm every 8 hours on the hour, and have doctor appointments weekly, I have a road ahead of me, but the Lord has brought me this far, and I can’t thank you enough for all your prayers and support. They have been so encouraging to myself and my family.